



Puppy
Observations
Humorous & Painfully True Observations
on Deerhound Puppies
by Steve Chandler
Peeing:
1. A deerhound puppy has incredible bladder capacity. I'm convinced mine have bladders that extend into cavities down both hind legs
2. If you take a puppy outside and they pee forever, do not assume they have drained themselves – they always hold a pint, or two, in reserve until they get back in the house.
3. When you're trying to paper-train puppies, they will take great joy in peeing just next to the paper you've put down.
Pooping:
1. A deerhound puppy has incredible poop capacity
2. see 'Peeing' No. 2 above, as it relates to pooping
3. In addition to horses, they are one of nature's great mysteries:
- more comes out the rear end than goes in the front
4. The runny-ness of their poop is directly correlated to the value of, and difficulty in cleaning, the surface upon which they are pooping
Eating:
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They will when they feel like it
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Just when you think you've found the right combination of kibble, meat, vegetables, cheese, etc. that they like …. you haven't
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If they act like they are finished, and there is still food left, put it in a different bowl, shake it, put it down and 'voila' no more food. I'm sure they will get wise to this at some point.
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If it can be swallowed in one bite, it will.
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Never look at an x-ray of undigested items in your puppy's stomach - it will freak you out!
- see 'Chewing No. 2' below
Playing:
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Two deerhound puppies playing together are known as 'unguided missiles'
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If they are snarling and snapping, like they want to kill each other, they probably don't
- Exception: if one is trying to take back a toy that has just been stolen from it by their sister/brother (see 'Toys' #2 below)
- Exception: if they are riding in the car together and one gets too close to the other one. I swear I've heard 'Mom, she's touching me!'
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The head-bashing, teeth-biting, rib stomping puplet who emerged unscathed from D-day battles with his littermates, will, at the age of five months, be out playing in your smooth, golf-course quality grassy yard, trip over a pebble, break two toes and run up $7000 worth of vet bills. (courtesy of Harriet King)
Chewing:
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If it's made out of wood, it will be chewed
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If it's made of any other substance, e.g. rock, porcelain, cement, metal (Yes, metal), it still may be a target
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They relish chewing on your clothing
- like 'Snots' the dog in 'Christmas Vacation', it's best to just let them finish
- the more you try to push them away, or unlock their jaws from your clothing, the more determined they become
4. Much like sharks go into a 'feeding frenzy', a group of puppies often go into a 'chewing frenzy'
5. Deerhound puppies have built in 'search and destroy' radar when it comes to your favorite shoes, boots, sandals, gloves, cushions and pillows.
- parenthetically, their radar is fine-tuned for items that are valuable , difficult to replace, or go 'crunch' when munched (e.g. cell phones, remote controls, no-line bifocals)
6. At some point in their ancestry Scottish Deerhounds were cross-bred with gila monsters
Toys:
1. A puppy will most likely disregard a toy that you give to it, no matter how cute you think it is, or how much money you've spent on it
- Exception: when you give it to their brother or sister
2. There's a saying that 'Possession is nine-tenths of the law' which is derived from the Scottish expression "possession is eleven points in the law, and they say there are but twelve." -- with deerhound puppies, possession is ten-tenths of the law.
Running:
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If a puppy is running flat out, straight at you, don't assume that it will veer off at the last second (this also applies to 'adult' deerhounds)
- I'm sure it looks to others like we have bad cases of arthritis, but we've adopted a walking / standing protocol of having our legs spread apart, with our knees bent (never, ever locked)
- Note: When going to an off-leash dog park, it's a good idea to have copies of a 'Personal Injury Waiver' for others to sign
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For two puppies running straight at each other see #1 above
- incredibly, I've even seen this in a 3-way Crash 'n Burn scenario
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If it runs from them, it must be chased
- Exception: (there are no exceptions)
4. Deerhound puppies run in primarily one direction – away from you
Resting:
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They do …............ sometimes
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Sleeping on your back, with all four feet extended upwards, is a sign of nobility
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If your puppy is on the floor in prone position, with a leg splayed in a contorted angle, they have not dislocated it …..... unless they are screaming.
Affection:
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'Yes', there will an immeasurable amount of it directed towards you.
