Humorous & Painfully True Observations
on Deerhound Puppies
by Steve Chandler
1. A deerhound puppy has incredible bladder capacity. I'm convinced mine have bladders that extend into cavities down both hind legs
2. If you take a puppy outside and they pee forever, do not assume they have drained themselves – they always hold a pint, or two, in reserve until they get back in the house.
3. When you're trying to paper-train puppies, they will take great joy in peeing just next to the paper you've put down.
1. A deerhound puppy has incredible poop capacity
2. see 'Peeing' No. 2 above, as it relates to pooping
3. In addition to horses, they are one of nature's great mysteries:
- more comes out the rear end than goes in the front
4. The runny-ness of their poop is directly correlated to the value of, and difficulty in cleaning, the surface upon which they are pooping
They will when they feel like it
Just when you think you've found the right combination of kibble, meat, vegetables, cheese, etc. that they like …. you haven't
If they act like they are finished, and there is still food left, put it in a different bowl, shake it, put it down and 'voila' no more food. I'm sure they will get wise to this at some point.
If it can be swallowed in one bite, it will.
Never look at an x-ray of undigested items in your puppy's stomach - it will freak you out!
- see 'Chewing No. 2' below
Two deerhound puppies playing together are known as 'unguided missiles'
If they are snarling and snapping, like they want to kill each other, they probably don't
- Exception: if one is trying to take back a toy that has just been stolen from it by their sister/brother (see 'Toys' #2 below)
- Exception: if they are riding in the car together and one gets too close to the other one. I swear I've heard 'Mom, she's touching me!'
The head-bashing, teeth-biting, rib stomping puplet who emerged unscathed from D-day battles with his littermates, will, at the age of five months, be out playing in your smooth, golf-course quality grassy yard, trip over a pebble, break two toes and run up $7000 worth of vet bills. (courtesy of Harriet King)
If it's made out of wood, it will be chewed
If it's made of any other substance, e.g. rock, porcelain, cement, metal (Yes, metal), it still may be a target
They relish chewing on your clothing
- like 'Snots' the dog in 'Christmas Vacation', it's best to just let them finish
- the more you try to push them away, or unlock their jaws from your clothing, the more determined they become
4. Much like sharks go into a 'feeding frenzy', a group of puppies often go into a 'chewing frenzy'
5. Deerhound puppies have built in 'search and destroy' radar when it comes to your favorite shoes, boots, sandals, gloves, cushions and pillows.
- parenthetically, their radar is fine-tuned for items that are valuable , difficult to replace, or go 'crunch' when munched (e.g. cell phones, remote controls, no-line bifocals)
6. At some point in their ancestry Scottish Deerhounds were cross-bred with gila monsters
1. A puppy will most likely disregard a toy that you give to it, no matter how cute you think it is, or how much money you've spent on it
- Exception: when you give it to their brother or sister
2. There's a saying that 'Possession is nine-tenths of the law' which is derived from the Scottish expression "possession is eleven points in the law, and they say there are but twelve." -- with deerhound puppies, possession is ten-tenths of the law.
If a puppy is running flat out, straight at you, don't assume that it will veer off at the last second (this also applies to 'adult' deerhounds)
- I'm sure it looks to others like we have bad cases of arthritis, but we've adopted a walking / standing protocol of having our legs spread apart, with our knees bent (never, ever locked)
- Note: When going to an off-leash dog park, it's a good idea to have copies of a 'Personal Injury Waiver' for others to sign
For two puppies running straight at each other see #1 above
- incredibly, I've even seen this in a 3-way Crash 'n Burn scenario
If it runs from them, it must be chased
- Exception: (there are no exceptions)
4. Deerhound puppies run in primarily one direction – away from you
They do …............ sometimes
Sleeping on your back, with all four feet extended upwards, is a sign of nobility
If your puppy is on the floor in prone position, with a leg splayed in a contorted angle, they have not dislocated it …..... unless they are screaming.
'Yes', there will an immeasurable amount of it directed towards you.